Sep 052013
 

Just Add Spice by Carol Wyer

Just Add Spice
by Carol Wyer
on Tour November 2013

 

Book DetailsGenre: Romantic Comedy
Published by: Safkhet Soul
Publication Date: 25th July 2013
Number of Pages: 184
NOTE: Explicit sexual scenes
Purchase Links:    

Synopsis:

Escape from reality comes in patent-leather Prada kneeboots

Dawn Ellis needs to escape from her painfully dull existence. Her unemployed husband spends all day complaining about life, moping around, or fixing lawnmowers on her kitchen table. The local writing class proves to be an adequate distraction with its eccentric collection of wannabe authors and, of course, the enigmatic Jason, who soon shows a romantic interest in her.

Dawn pours her inner frustrations into her first novel about the extraordinary exploits of Cinnamon Knight, an avenging angel — a woman who doesn’t believe in following the rules. Cinnamon is ruthless and wanton, inflicting suffering on any man who warrants it. Little does Dawn realise that soon the line between reality and fiction will blur. Her own life will be transformed, and those close to her will pay the price.

Read an excerpt:

Cinnamon Knight ground the stub of her Benson and Hedges’ cigarette into the pavement with the heel of her Prada leather motorcycle boot, where it now joined a small pile of tab ends. Strategically placed in a shop doorway, she watched the top left window of a block of flats opposite. She had been there almost two hours. Rain beat steadily on the pavement, drumming against the gutter with constant thuds, but this did not deter her. Her patience was rewarded as the light blazing from the window was finally extinguished. She sauntered across the road to the BMW parked in front of the block of flats along the kerbside, sandwiched between a Peugeot 205 and a C Class Mercedes.
Dressed completely in black, face partially obscured by her North Face hooded jacket; she was almost invisible next to the dark car. It took only a minute to fiddle with the lock, open the door, and slide into the car. She lowered herself down in the driver’s seat, casting a cursory glance out of the window. The streets were empty. The weather was on her side and no one was braving the downpour, not even the old man at the end of the road who rarely missed taking his dog out for an evening stroll.
She leant forward and pulled off the cover below the steering wheel with one deft movement. Extracting the screwdriver from a neat case, she stabbed it into the ignition lock. A quick fiddle, one sharp twist, and the car burst into life; the persistent thudding of the rain against the pavement hid the initial coughing of the engine. She pulled away from the kerb swiftly and headed up the road at speed.
Pushing the hood away from her head, she checked her face in the rear-view mirror. That’ll teach him to mess about with women, she thought. No one, but no one, messes about with Cinnamon—the rat!

 

Author Bio:

Carol E. Wyer is an award winning author whose humorous novels take a light-hearted look at getting older and encourage others to age disgracefully.

Her best-selling debut novel ‘Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines’ won five awards for humour.

‘Surfing in Stilettos’ which follows the further adventures of Amanda Wilson as she attempts to inject some fun into her life, was a Costa Award nominee.

Safkhet Publishing released ‘How Not to Murder Your Grumpy’ June 1st 2012, the first of three books in a ‘Grumpy’ series.

Carol has featured on numerous shows discussing ‘Irritable Male Syndrome’ and ‘Ageing Disgracefully’. She has had articles published in national magazines such as Woman’s Weekly’ and on-line magazines. She writes regularly for The Huffington Post and author website Indies Unlimited.
She is a signed author with ThornBerry Publishing and Safkhet Publishing.

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May 282013
 

How Not To Murder Your Grumpy
by Carol E Wyer
on Tour August 2013

 

Book Details
Genre: Non-Fiction, Humor
Published by: Safkhet Publising
Publication Date: 1st June 2013
Number of Pages: 106
Purchase Links:    

Synopsis:

Is your Grumpy Old Man getting under your feet? Is he wrestling with retirement? Are you wondering if you should bundle him up and entrust him to basket-weaving classes? Then this book could be the answer to your prayers. This light hearted guide is packed full of lively ideas, anecdotes and quips. Not only does it set out to provide laughs, but offers over 700 ideas and ways to keep a Grumpy Old Man occupied. From collecting airline sick bags to zorbing, you will be sure to find an absorbing pastime for your beloved curmudgeon. There are examples of those who have faced extraordinary challenges in older age, fascinating facts to interest a reluctant partner and innovative ideas drizzled, of course, with a large dollop of humor. Written tongue-in-cheek, this book succeeds in proving that getting older doesn’t mean the end of life or having fun. It provides amusing answers to the question, “How on Earth will my husband fill in his time in his retirement?” It offers suggestions on what might, or most certainly might not, amuse him. Ideal for trivia buffs, those approaching retirement, (or just at a loose end) and frustrated women who have an irritable male on their hands, this book will lighten any mood and may even prevent the odd murder.

Read an excerpt:

Without further ado, let’s look at the abundance of activities that your Grumpy can enjoy beginning with the letter A.
Introduce your Grumpy to the absorbing and completely time-consuming hobby of aviation, particularly aeroplanes.
First, get him a copy of Top Gun (or any good film about flying) to whet his appetite. Next, purchase a trial flying lesson. He’ll love it. Honestly, he will. Don’t be mean though, and get him an aerobatic flight. He’ll come home a horrible pasty shade of grey, and you’ll never get him to agree to that holiday to Alicante you hoped you could take next year.
Once he has “the flying bug”, ensure he signs up for flying lessons. Now, you’ll have to make some serious economies to fund this new hobby, and you’ll have to forget that holiday to Alicante for a while, but it’ll be worth it. He’ll soon transform into a new man, and which one of us wouldn’t fancy a Tom Cruise-a-like coming home after a long day up in the clouds?
Flying doesn’t just keep these Grumpy Old Men out of the house for an hour or two. Oh no, they have to get to the airfield early to set up, have a pre-flight briefing, a couple of cups of coffee and some cake, chat to their mates and ensure they have planned a route. Then, there is the actual flying, followed by a debrief, and the obligatory drink at the pub to recap the entire flight.
There are exams to be taken and much studying to be done. Many a night will be spent sitting at the dining table with pencils in their mouths, as they attempt to learn the principles of aviation law or meteorology. You’ll be able to relax on the settee and watch all those soaps without any dark muttering coming from the other end.
You may find that you will need to learn the phonetic alphabet though, just to show willingness and give him a hand. Let me assist you by starting with: Golf, Romeo, Uniform, Mike, Papa, Yankee.
If you can’t interest him in this particular hobby, then you could try him with a remote-controlled aircraft. This is the best of both worlds. He can fly his aeroplane without taking examinations, wherever he fancies, and it won’t cost a fortune. There will be more about remote-controlled vehicles later.
Last but not least, you could offer him the chance to do some plane spotting. This is obviously the cheapest option, and can be enjoyed at the airport or in your back garden if you are fortunate enough to live under the flight path.
If he decides on the latter, you’ll be able to book that trip to Alicante. After all, he’ll see plenty of aeroplanes.
What do William Tell, Robin Hood, and Cupid have in common? The answer is archery or toxophily as it is also called. (You might need that piece of information for a pub quiz.)
Archery is one of the most ancient sports known to mankind. In ancient times and the medieval period, this activity was used for protecting people from enemies and for hunting wild animals. Today, it is regarded as a recreational activity or sport, and is looked upon as a way to improve concentration, mental strength, and precision … where was I? Oh yes, sorry, I was thinking about Kevin Costner in the 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and got distracted. Today, two forms of archery are prevalent: target archery and field archery.
Sign your fractious man up for lessons and watch him improve, along with his game. Word of warning: don’t let him place an apple on your head “for practice”.
Question: What did the lustful maiden say to the handsome archer?
Answer: You make me quiver.

 

Author Bio:

HowNotToMurderYourGrumpy-AuthorAfter completing a degree in French and English at Keele University, Carol Wyer became a language teacher in Casablanca, Morocco. She ran the EFL department at a private UK school (a non-magical Hogwarts), set up Language 2000 Ltd, teaching a variety of languages, including basic Japanese, and translated documents. Recurring medical problems forced her to give up teaching and become a fitness instructor. Thanks to older age, she now writes novels, articles and books that poke fun at getting older. Known for her light-hearted take on life, Carol has written two award-winning novels and now also tours giving talks on how to age disgracefully.
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